This week has been pretty tiring. It's only the second week of school after the June hols and it's hard to believe that I am already beginning to feel so tired cos there's still 8 more weeks to go before my next short sept hols, and 4 more months to go before the long or 'long' december hols.
I got back my results for my BTs recently, and I won't say that I did exceptionally well, but at least I did okay (well except for econs which is clearly my weakest subject right now) although I feel like I could have done a lot better esp for maths and chem. It has been 2 weeks into school, and I feel like I haven't really been doing much, and my motivation level has been pretty low, which is a pretty bad thing cos I know that the next 2 terms are gonna get even more tiring than the first half of the year, and I really need to buck up if I wanna do well for my promos which is just 2 months away.
I can feel the stress rolling in.
Also, I broke down in class the day I recieved my econs results, after my teacher left cos I really studied for the test but I just CANT SCORE and I honestly have no idea what went wrong, and my teacher said some stuff to me in front of the class and I was just really affected by what she said. I was telling myself in my head over and over again to not cry, to not cry, to not cry, but my traitorous tears just escaped from my eyes and started rolling down my face, and the more I was angry with myself for losing control of my tears, the more I started crying. I was really trying to hide my face and I was lying with my head down on the table, but my friends sensed that I was crying and the girls came over to hug me, and to comfort me. And I swear my class girls GIRL POWER is so strong cos we're always there for each other. :') I realised after, that the guys were all quite shocked and unsure of what to do when I was crying so they kept a distance and gave me my space, and Cher told me the next day that they were actually really worried at that time, but they just didn't know how to show it. I am so grateful for my class, and I really felt the warmth that day esp at night when quite a few people texted me to ask if I was okay, and to encourage me, and support me. I'm especially grateful to (in no particular order) Josh, Jr, Damain, Gq, Chartay, Seem, Jojo and Lu cos they were really there for me when I was really upset, and they were being really encouraging.
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I don't know if this is a bad thing, but sometimes when I feel like I'm not okay, I still kinda wish you were here with me.
Somedays, I miss you more than the others, and maybe one day, our paths will cross again.
You haven't left my mind, and if I had to choose someone right now, I'd choose you over and over again.
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