See you again

"Funny how losing someone ruins your ability to love anyone else just as deeply."

Awhile back, during lit class, we were discussing about the topic loss and regret, and I think my teacher brought up a very important and interesting question (which was pretty damn thought provoking to me) - "If this loss is a conscious loss, can we still regret? Do we still deserve to regret?"

This question that he brought up in class while going through The Remains of The Day, and the love between the 2 main characters in the book (Stevens and Miss Kenton), really struck a chord in me. And I asked myself "Do we?", and I guess if the loss was conscious, if we saw it coming yet didn't do anything to stop it, to try to save that loss from happening, then I guess we don't really deserve to regret the loss after all, cos we kinda made the choice to let the loss happen.

Lit is an interesting subject. When we were going through this particular chapter in ROTD, many important life pointers came up.

"One should realize one has as good as most, perhaps better, and be grateful."
We should all learn to appreciate the things that we have in life, and cherish the people we have around us. We never know when might be the last time we see them. Life is full of surprises. It is unpredictable, and things always happen at the most unexpected times.

"When you relate and articulate yourself and somebody else with life, that's love."
I, out of so many other things that I wanted, wanted most for you to stay in my life, but I let you go. And I guess you deserve a love way greater than the only love I was capable enough of giving you, showing you. This week was rough, and during my lowest points in the week, my mind couldn't help but wander to you, and I haven't missed you this much in a while. I'm being presented with the chance to see you tomorrow after having not seen you in 5 months and 11 days, but I don't know if I'm even going to be able to make it, and honestly, I'm not even sure if I wanna go I guess. I hate this. I miss you. It scares me that I can't really remember your voice, and I just need to hear you say my name again. I need to feel you around again. But, I'm supposed to be okay without you. //

Emotions are complex.

I'm scared that if I were to go tomorrow, and if I see you again after so long, I might just fall for you all over again, like the very first time I did, even though I don't love you that way anymore. // 

"Just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it."