I woke up at 12pm today and I still feel kind of tired. I feel completely burnt and black cos I'm currently having a rather bad case of sunburn. I have one of the stupidest allergy in the entire world: Allergy of sunblock. So while everyone else was busy trying to spam themselves with sunblock to prevent themselves from being burnt, I was facing the heat and getting fried by the sun slowly. Now, I'm red and black on my ears, my face and my arms, and they hurt like hell. Hopefully, I'll go back to being reasonably fair like I was before instead of tan. Okay, I shall stop ranting on my crazy sunburn but instead start to blog about my 5 days at OBS.
Day 1
I woke up at 5am to prepare for OBS on that day and I felt really tired throughout the entire day. I took the MRT to school and I had to lug around a very heavy hand carry bag and I almost died by the time I reached Mountbatten MRT. Thankfully, Kelly(ng) was nice and was willing to get the taxi driver to stop at the bus stop outside Mountbatten MRT to drive me to school. Then we had to assemble at the ISH before boarding the buses which brought us to the OBS RC @ Punggol. By the time we took the ferry over to Pulau Ubin for our OBS camp, it was already 12 plus and so it was really hot and I could already feel the dirt and the insects around. I was really bothered by that at first as I still hadn't adapted to the sudden change in environment and I felt my real break with civilisation when I gave my phone to the instructor for safe-keeping. We had some activities on Day 1 such as the trust game and learning how to belay. I think I did really badly for the trust game cos I was terrified as hell that I was gonna fall and I was trembling and shaking that I forgot what it meant by falling down on your own onto the mat behind. It took me at least 5 minutes before I finally gathered up enough courage to fall down against the mat. When I fell, it was like for a minute there, I threw away all my worries and my problems and just let everything go and it's actually a really thrilling experience. So I kinda felt really stupid for being so scared of the fall after that HAHA. Then we learnt how to belay so that we can belay our friends for the next day during high elements. We ended off the day by learning how to pitch our tents and how to cook dinner on our own by using solid fuels which wasn't really that new to me since I was from guides and I can still remember the certain things I learnt there.
Day 2
We had a kayaking course on this day and we learnt what we should do when we capsize and how we can rescue those that capsized. I believe that both of these are really important skills and it was really fun learning them. After learning those skills, I kayaked all the way with Jun De to camp 1 where we set up our tents and did rock climbing. Rock Climbing was the one thing that I really didn't enjoy doing as I felt really useless at that point in time. Almost everyone in my group managed to climb all the way up to the top of the rock wall but as I tried to do the harder wall before that and my hands were already really tired by the time I wanted to try the easier one, I was unable to climb to the top at all. I felt really disappointed with myself and I felt pretty useless at that time and I kept asking myself: "Why is it that most of my group members are able to climb all the way up the rock wall but I can't?" So after rock climbing, my mood got really bad and I started to feel really upset and I was in quite a bit of pain as my muscles were previously already over strained by carrying my really heavy hand carry bag. I was so tempted to cry that night but I decided that I had to stay strong and to learn to overcome all these problems and SURVIVE OBS which I'm quite proud to say that I did.
Day 3
So after learning the basic skills of kayaking on day 2, we had to kayak all the way to an external camp through a sea expedition which took a total of 9.5hours and it was really tiring. The journey there was really hard and we had to have a really strong willed mind in order to overcome the many obstacles we faced on the way. The part where we had to kayak through Chek Jawa was the hardest cos the wind there was so strong, the waves were super choppy, I think we almost died. Oh and did I mention that we have to eat our lunch on the kayak, and we had to pee in the sea. That was one of the most memorable things of OBS cos it's so freaking hilarious when people have to pee and they jump into the sea while the other kayak had to help them hold onto their kayak and later help that person back into their kayak. Anyway, by the time we reached the external camp it was nearly night time, and it was raining, so it was freaking cold since we were all wet. I was shivering like crazy, I could barely move so after dinner, I went into the tents to keep away from the rain and to keep warm before I die from the cold. Then my tent (consisting of Rachel, Jing Ting and Geraldine) had to do night patrol from 12.45pm to 1pm and it was so dark and creepy, I was so close to freaking out. We saw this light at this corner and we saw people but when we called out asking who's there, they crouched down and they didn't answer but when we walked back, there was this torch shining at us and it was so damn scary omg. At least, there weren't any dogs or wild boars when we were patrolling or I would have totally freaked out. That night was one of the worst nights at OBS ever cos it was raining so it was really cold, and our tents were flooded. My sleeping bag was totally wet, and everyone was wet, it was just disgusting. Our tents also near toppled onto us so we couldn't sleep well at all and we still had to go for land expedition the next day.
Day 4
As it was raining that morning, we stayed in the tent for almost 2-3 hours since we woke up and by the time we set off for land expedition, it was already 12.15pm. We had to carry this really really really heavy backpack that is about half our weight and trek at the same time. I almost died cos my shoulder and neck was hurting like crazy, to the extent that I couldn't walk, and Justin helped me carry my bag twice after that cos my neck was really hurting. I was really touched and felt really grateful towards Justin for helping cos he had to carry 2 bags and both are really heavy and yet he didn't complain. At the same time, I felt quite guilty that he had to help me carry my bag when he has his own bag to carry too. There were tons of mosquitoes and ants in the forests and it was really dirty and itchy. I have tons of insect bites on my legs now and I'm having rashes. By the time we could see camp 2, it was like we felt the sense of relief and the sense of accomplishment that we finally, after a really torturous long trek, reached camp 2. That sense of relief was one of the best feelings ever during OBS. That night, we had celebratory dinner and I had a lot of fun. I feel that that was the moment when my group (consisting of Me, Geraldine, Jing Ting, Rachel, Yan Lin, Justin, Sherman, Jun De, Yue Wey, Wen Qiang, Jerlin, Jerilynn, Hui Jun, Deniece and Kensiha) really bonded and we got to do the cooking together. The food that we cooked on our own was so good and I really enjoyed that night. Had loads of fun with them(:
Day 5
Last day at OBS. I woke up feeling really happy cos it's the last day at OBS and I can finally return home. We had lots of debrief on that day and we talked about our experience at OBS for the past 5 days. We also talked about our experience with the group and what we have to say to the group. Our really cute and awesome instructor Jiayi asked us to think about this really special someone back at home and asked us what we would like to say to them. That was when the crying session in my group began. Everyone in my group wanted to thank their family, be it their parents, or their siblings and what they said really touched me. I didn't really cry, and I only teared up a little at the last part, but what everyone said really touched me cos it's like we all learn to cherish what we have more after OBS and we learn to stop taking things for granted. Jiayi then told us to take something from the ground and resemble it as what we hate, and then say out what we hate, then throw that item away, at the same time, throwing away something that we hate about ourselves away. I chose to throw away always taking things for granted and never cherishing them till it's too late. When we were about to go home, and assembling at some sheltered area, one of the instructors shared this story with us and I nearly cried at this cos it really tugged at my heart. (ps. I got this from the internet so it isn't the exact story that the instructor told us, but the main message of the story is still there.)
I never really thought that I'd spend as much time in airports as I do. I don't know why. I always wanted to be famous and that would mean lots of travel. But, I'm not famous, yet I do see more than my share of airports.
I love them and I hate them. I love them because of the people I get to watch. But they are also the same reason why I hate airports. It all comes down to 'hello' and 'goodbye'. I must have mentioned this a few times while writing my stories for you.
I have great difficulties with saying goodbye. Even as I write this, I am experiencing that pounding sensation in my heart. If I am watching such a scene in a movie, I am affected so much that I need to sit up and take a few deep breaths. So when faced with a challenge in my life, I have been known to go to our local airport and watch people say goodbye. I figure nothing that is happening to me at the time could be as bad as saying goodbye.
Watching people cling to each other, crying, and holding each other in that last embrace makes me appreciate what I have even more. Seeing them finally pull apart, extending their arms until the tips of their fingers are the last to let go, is an image that stays forefront in my mind throughout the day.
On one of my recent business trips, when I arrived at the counter to check in, the woman said, "How are you today?" I replied, "I am missing my wife already and I haven't even said goodbye."
She then looked at my ticket and began to ask, "How long will you...Oh, my God. You will only be gone for three days!" We all laughed. My problem was, I still had to say goodbye.
But, I learn from goodbye moments too.
Recently, I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you, I wish you enough." She in turn said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough too, Daddy."
They kissed, and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say goodbye to someone, knowing it would be forever?"
"Yes, I have." I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me.
So, I knew what this man was experiencing.
"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?" I asked.
"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead, and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral." he said.
"When you were saying goodbye, I heard you say: 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?"
He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment, and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. "When we say: 'I wish you enough', we want the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them." he continued and turning toward me, he shared the following, as if reciting from memory.
"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright."
"I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more."
"I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive."
"I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger."
"I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting."
"I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess."
"I wish you enough 'Hello's' to get you through the final 'Goodbye'."
He then began to sob and walk away.
OBS might have been a really tough and tiring camp but at the same time, I feel that it was a really good experience. I'm really glad that I chose to go to OBS at the end of the day even though somewhere through OBS I really felt damn homesick and I just wanted to give up. Now that I'm back at home, I realize that those were actually really good times, and it was a really good experience. I would have missed out on a whole lot of experience if I had chosen to stay at home 5 days ago. I gained new experiences and at the same time I gained new friendships. My OBS camp group is one of the best camp group ever cos everyone is just so nice and so helpful and caring, and it means a lot to me. Thank you guys, for all that you've done for me and for the team. You guys really are the best and Cheng Ho, I love you guys♡♡♡
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| We are the survivors. |
"And when the going gets tough, and you see the stars in the sky, you feel the hope. The hope to go on, and not give up."
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