Lonely was the song I sang.

Hi guys(: I haven't blogged in a few days and my nose is running like a tap today I think I'm gonna be down with flu soon ): Anyway, I shall blog about what I did for the past few days though it was really nothing much.

Saturday
Lazed around at home in the morning using the com tumblr-ing, and eating. Then went out at about 3.45pm to meet Karyn at Stadium MRT so that we can go have dinner together at KLP. We ate KFC since we haven't eaten that in ages then we went to yoguru to get yoghurt (: We headed to school after that for EDS night and the queue into the PAC was crazy we had to wait for quite a while before we could even enter the PAC. We met Michelle and Christie outside the PAC so we decided to sit together with them. I think EDS night was really fun and it's honestly one of the nicest and best school concert ever. I couldn't stand watching the first drama though cos the clown was just way too scary and I'm freaking terrified of clowns. Yes, I have a phobia of clowns. I think they call it coulrophobia. But the performances after that was great and I totally enjoyed watching Happily (N)ever after. It was so funny and the few lines that Xiao Xuan said in her part really made me laugh like mad. "You look especially Asian today." and "China's that way!" HAHAHA. Oh and the EDS night dances were amazing especially the SYC dance which was really touching and amazing (: We ended off the night on a rather high note ^_^

Sunday
I really did nothing cos it was just another typical Sunday for me. Watched Warm Bodies with my family, even though the show was screened in the cinema quite sometime ago, then I just ate, and lazed around as per usual. This makes me sound really lazy and fat I know HAHA.

Monday
Woke up at about 7.30am to prepare the things that I need for the E.Lit diorama set before heading out to meet the rest (Jamie, Jolyn, Si Hui, Geraldine and Huai Zhe) at Kallang Macs to complete our diorama set. Then we headed home to do our Diorama write-up. Overall, it was quite a fruitful day I guess, I mean, since we managed to complete our work in time(:

Tuesday (today)
Had chinese first 3 periods and I almost fell asleep. My nose is like some leaking tap today and it has been running for the entire day, even now as I'm blogging, I feel like I'm dying. 3 periods of chem after recess was just pure torture cos it felt like time couldn't pass any slower. Then after school, I went to find the CCA teacher with Michelle and Shi Kai though we didn't manage to find her and then after that me and Shi Kai went to have lunch together at Kampong Arang where I had my tao-huey craving satisfied :D Headed home after that and I took a nap cos I was too tired to do anything else, I think I might actually be running a fever but I haven't checked. Yay life.

Till the next time I decide not to be lazy and blog again (:

(ps. sorry for the crappy posts recently guys. Guess, I just haven't really been in the mood for blogging oh well ): )

Don't you worry child, see heaven's got a plan for you.

Hi guys(: sorry for the lack of updates. I've been really lazy and at the same time kind of busy since we have E.Lit project and stuff to complete by next tuesday.

Nothing much happened this week except for friday (yesterday) when we had a 2Innae class gathering cum Mr Chan's farewell party at Mr Chan's house. I've been looking forward to the class gathering ever since way before OBS so I was really really excited about yesterday. I met up with Clarice, Angeline, Casilda, Glenda and Mavis at Nex@Serangoon in the morning to get the present (we bought a waterbottle in the end)  and a cake which we designed at The Icing Room (okay, it was more like Angeline and Glenda who designed it hehe :P) After buying the things that we need, all 6 of us headed to Buona Vista MRT to meet the rest of the people before heading to Mr Chan's house.

When we first reached Mr Chan's house, our class decided to be funny and greeted him and his wife the way we did in school like: "Good Afternoon Mr and Mrs Chan" hahaha. Then we had lunch, spaghetti and a mini pizza, which Mrs Chan made and it was really really really good. Afterwards, we just talked and joked with each other like old times and I had a really good time with everyone there. We played card games too and me, Angel and Tjiong Hann taught Mr Chan how to play "Stress" and we helped him win Angel HAHA.

Before we left, Mr Chan told us something really touching. "This movie- 3 Idiots, is my favourite movie from 10 years ago and I want to be the one screening this movie for you. When I return from studying 2 years later, I will invite all of you to my house again and I will screen this movie for you." This really touched me and it means that this isn't gonna be the final farewell as cliche as that actually sounded lol. Mr Chan has been a really great math teacher for our class for the past 2 years and we'll really miss him when he leaves. He's one of the best math teachers I've ever had and I really wish him all the best for his studies and whatever he's gonna do in the future (:

Anyway, here are some pictures that we took yesterday at Mr Chan's house (:

The people who attended: Jun De, Angel, Tjiong Hann, Charlotte, Angeline, Kelly, Karyn, Me, Adriell, Gabriel, Clarice, Shermaine, Casilda, Glenda, Mavis, Carol, Yong Lin and of course, Mr Chan (:

Natalie, Zhau Yue, Eunice, Darren, Keith and Ze Wei left slightly early due to CCA and some school stuff so they're not in the picture ):

The cake that Angeline and Glenda designed at The Icing Room! ^_^ 

Survivors.

HELLO GUYS. I AM BACK IN CIVILISATION AFTER 5 DAYS OF OBS :D

I woke up at 12pm today and I still feel kind of tired. I feel completely burnt and black cos I'm currently having a rather bad case of sunburn. I have one of the stupidest allergy in the entire world: Allergy of sunblock. So while everyone else was busy trying to spam themselves with sunblock to prevent themselves from being burnt, I was facing the heat and getting fried by the sun slowly. Now, I'm red and black on my ears, my face and my arms, and they hurt like hell. Hopefully, I'll go back to being reasonably fair like I was before instead of tan. Okay, I shall stop ranting on my crazy sunburn but instead start to blog about my 5 days at OBS.

Day 1
I woke up at 5am to prepare for OBS on that day and I felt really tired throughout the entire day. I took the MRT to school and I had to lug around a very heavy hand carry bag and I almost died by the time I reached Mountbatten MRT. Thankfully, Kelly(ng) was nice and was willing to get the taxi driver to stop at the bus stop outside Mountbatten MRT to drive me to school. Then we had to assemble at the ISH before boarding the buses which brought us to the OBS RC @ Punggol. By the time we took the ferry over to Pulau Ubin for our OBS camp, it was already 12 plus and so it was really hot and I could already feel the dirt and the insects around. I was really bothered by that at first as I still hadn't adapted to the sudden change in environment and I felt my real break with civilisation when I gave my phone to the instructor for safe-keeping. We had some activities on Day 1 such as the trust game and learning how to belay. I think I did really badly for the trust game cos I was terrified as hell that I was gonna fall and I was trembling and shaking that I forgot what it meant by falling down on your own onto the mat behind. It took me at least 5 minutes before I finally gathered up enough courage to fall down against the mat. When I fell, it was like for a minute there, I threw away all my worries and my problems and just let everything go and it's actually a really thrilling experience. So I kinda felt really stupid for being so scared of the fall after that HAHA. Then we learnt how to belay so that we can belay our friends for the next day during high elements. We ended off the day by learning how to pitch our tents and how to cook dinner on our own by using solid fuels which wasn't really that new to me since I was from guides and I can still remember the certain things I learnt there.

Day 2
We had a kayaking course on this day and we learnt what we should do when we capsize and how we can rescue those that capsized. I believe that both of these are really important skills and it was really fun learning them. After learning those skills, I kayaked all the way with Jun De to camp 1 where we set up our tents and did rock climbing. Rock Climbing was the one thing that I really didn't enjoy doing as I felt really useless at that point in time. Almost everyone in my group managed to climb all the way up to the top of the rock wall but as I tried to do the harder wall before that and my hands were already really tired by the time I wanted to try the easier one, I was unable to climb to the top at all. I felt really disappointed with myself and I felt pretty useless at that time and I kept asking myself: "Why is it that most of my group members are able to climb all the way up the rock wall but I can't?" So after rock climbing, my mood got really bad and I started to feel really upset and I was in quite a bit of pain as my muscles were previously already over strained by carrying my really heavy hand carry bag. I was so tempted to cry that night but I decided that I had to stay strong and to learn to overcome all these problems and SURVIVE OBS which I'm quite proud to say that I did.

Day 3
So after learning the basic skills of kayaking on day 2, we had to kayak all the way to an external camp through a sea expedition which took a total of 9.5hours and it was really tiring. The journey there was really hard and we had to have a really strong willed mind in order to overcome the many obstacles we faced on the way. The part where we had to kayak through Chek Jawa was the hardest cos the wind there was so strong, the waves were super choppy, I think we almost died. Oh and did I mention that we have to eat our lunch on the kayak, and we had to pee in the sea. That was one of the most memorable things of OBS cos it's so freaking hilarious when people have to pee and they jump into the sea while the other kayak had to help them hold onto their kayak and later help that person back into their kayak. Anyway, by the time we reached the external camp it was nearly night time, and it was raining, so it was freaking cold since we were all wet. I was shivering like crazy, I could barely move so after dinner, I went into the tents to keep away from the rain and to keep warm before I die from the cold. Then my tent (consisting of Rachel, Jing Ting and Geraldine) had to do night patrol from 12.45pm to 1pm and it was so dark and creepy, I was so close to freaking out. We saw this light at this corner and we saw people but when we called out asking who's there, they crouched down and they didn't answer but when we walked back, there was this torch shining at us and it was so damn scary omg. At least, there weren't any dogs or wild boars when we were patrolling or I would have totally freaked out. That night was one of the worst nights at OBS ever cos it was raining so it was really cold, and our tents were flooded. My sleeping bag was totally wet, and everyone was wet, it was just disgusting. Our tents also near toppled onto us so we couldn't sleep well at all and we still had to go for land expedition the next day.

Day 4
As it was raining that morning, we stayed in the tent for almost 2-3 hours since we woke up and by the time we set off for land expedition, it was already 12.15pm. We had to carry this really really really heavy backpack that is about half our weight and trek at the same time. I almost died cos my shoulder and neck was hurting like crazy, to the extent that I couldn't walk, and Justin helped me carry my bag twice after that cos my neck was really hurting. I was really touched and felt really grateful towards Justin for helping cos he had to carry 2 bags and both are really heavy and yet he didn't complain. At the same time, I felt quite guilty that he had to help me carry my bag when he has his own bag to carry too. There were tons of mosquitoes and ants in the forests and it was really dirty and itchy. I have tons of insect bites on my legs now and I'm having rashes. By the time we could see camp 2, it was like we felt the sense of relief and the sense of accomplishment that we finally, after a really torturous long trek, reached camp 2. That sense of relief was one of the best feelings ever during OBS. That night, we had celebratory dinner and I had a lot of fun. I feel that that was the moment when my group (consisting of Me, Geraldine, Jing Ting, Rachel, Yan Lin, Justin, Sherman, Jun De, Yue Wey, Wen Qiang, Jerlin, Jerilynn, Hui Jun, Deniece and Kensiha) really bonded and we got to do the cooking together. The food that we cooked on our own was so good and I really enjoyed that night. Had loads of fun with them(:

Day 5
Last day at OBS. I woke up feeling really happy cos it's the last day at OBS and I can finally return home. We had lots of debrief on that day and we talked about our experience at OBS for the past 5 days. We also talked about our experience with the group and what we have to say to the group. Our really cute and awesome instructor Jiayi asked us to think about this really special someone back at home and asked us what we would like to say to them. That was when the crying session in my group began. Everyone in my group wanted to thank their family, be it their parents, or their siblings and what they said really touched me. I didn't really cry, and I only teared up a little at the last part, but what everyone said really touched me cos it's like we all learn to cherish what we have more after OBS and we learn to stop taking things for granted. Jiayi then told us to take something from the ground and resemble it as what we hate, and then say out what we hate, then throw that item away, at the same time, throwing away something that we hate about ourselves away. I chose to throw away always taking things for granted and never cherishing them till it's too late. When we were about to go home, and assembling at some sheltered area, one of the instructors shared this story with us and I nearly cried at this cos it really tugged at my heart. (ps. I got this from the internet so it isn't the exact story that the instructor told us, but the main message of the story is still there.)

I never really thought that I'd spend as much time in airports as I do. I don't know why. I always wanted to be famous and that would mean lots of travel. But, I'm not famous, yet I do see more than my share of airports.
I love them and I hate them. I love them because of the people I get to watch. But they are also the same reason why I hate airports. It all comes down to 'hello' and 'goodbye'. I must have mentioned this a few times while writing my stories for you.
I have great difficulties with saying goodbye. Even as I write this, I am experiencing that pounding sensation in my heart. If I am watching such a scene in a movie, I am affected so much that I need to sit up and take a few deep breaths. So when faced with a challenge in my life, I have been known to go to our local airport and watch people say goodbye. I figure nothing that is happening to me at the time could be as bad as saying goodbye.
Watching people cling to each other, crying, and holding each other in that last embrace makes me appreciate what I have even more. Seeing them finally pull apart, extending their arms until the tips of their fingers are the last to let go, is an image that stays forefront in my mind throughout the day.
On one of my recent business trips, when I arrived at the counter to check in, the woman said, "How are you today?" I replied, "I am missing my wife already and I haven't even said goodbye."
She then looked at my ticket and began to ask, "How long will you...Oh, my God. You will only be gone for three days!" We all laughed. My problem was, I still had to say goodbye.

But, I learn from goodbye moments too.

Recently, I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you, I wish you enough." She in turn said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough too, Daddy."
They kissed, and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say goodbye to someone, knowing it would be forever?"
"Yes, I have." I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me.
So, I knew what this man was experiencing.
"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?" I asked.
"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead, and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral." he said.
"When you were saying goodbye, I heard you say: 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?"
He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations.  My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment, and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. "When we say: 'I wish you enough', we want the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them." he continued and turning toward me, he shared the following, as if reciting from memory.

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright."

"I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more."

"I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive."

"I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger."

"I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting."

"I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess."

"I wish you enough 'Hello's' to get you through the final 'Goodbye'."

He then began to sob and walk away.

OBS might have been a really tough and tiring camp but at the same time, I feel that it was a really good experience. I'm really glad that I chose to go to OBS at the end of the day even though somewhere through OBS I really felt damn homesick and I just wanted to give up. Now that I'm back at home, I realize that those were actually really good times, and it was a really good experience. I would have missed out on a whole lot of experience if I had chosen to stay at home 5 days ago. I gained new experiences and at the same time I gained new friendships. My OBS camp group is one of the best camp group ever cos everyone is just so nice and so helpful and caring, and it means a lot to me. Thank you guys, for all that you've done for me and for the team. You guys really are the best and Cheng Ho, I love you guys♡♡♡

We are the survivors.

"And when the going gets tough, and you see the stars in the sky, you feel the hope. The hope to go on, and not give up."

It takes a lot to realize that it's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie.

Hey guys(: 1 MORE DAY TO OBS. I think I'm starting to anticipate the things that will be happening there like the activities that we'll be made to take part in and stuff like that instead of dreading it.

I finally finished packing for OBS and I think I'm bringing way too much things cos I'm bringing a gigantic and super heavy hand carry bag and a backpack. And, I'm taking MRT so I have to carry the damn heavy and huge bags alone on the MRT and look like the world's biggest idiot. FML.

Did I mention that we have to assemble at the ISH in our PE shirt and track pants? My track pants are like 2 sizes big so it'll make me look like some fat pig and wearing it with the PE shirt just makes it look like pajamas. So be prepared for a complete fugly, fashion disaster when you see me tomorrow.

I was too lazy to blog this morning but then I thought about being away from my com and my phone for 5 straight days, so I decided to blog today before going to OBS at Pulau Ubin.

I really hope OBS is as "fun" and as "adventurous" as the teachers made it sound, though I should know better than to trust the teachers cos I really don't want to be disappointed and I want to have a good time there and let it be a good experience of my life.

As weird as this is gonna sound, I'm gonna sleep in early tonight, and savour my last moments with my bed before I go and sleep in tents LOL.

Okay, so I think this post is actually really unorganized (not that I usually plan my posts but you get what I mean), and I think it's one of the worst posts I've ever done so I shall stop here. 5 days before I blog again. PRAY THAT I'LL SURVIVE AND COME BACK IN ONE PIECE!

I'm too lazy to post pics or what not so till 5 days later bye :)

No one said it would be this hard.

"Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be so hard."

Hi guys(: Sorry for the lack of updates. A lot of things has been going on in this past week. I got back my CTs results and I screwed up completely. I did even worse than I expected myself to do. I screwed up Bio, like I thought I would and I think I got the lowest in class. I screwed up for geog cos apparently, I forgot to draw the diagrams for the essay. I screwed up for chem and I had the shock of my life cos I worked so damn hard for that and I expected myself to do quite well, but no, my hardwork never pays off, so I screwed everything up all over again. The only subjects I'm quite satisfied with are like Chinese and Maths 1, and maybe LA. I'm dreading to receive the remaining papers after OBS cos I seriously can't take any more pressure of receiving my results and having to look at the faces of disappointment on my teachers and my parents.

PS. Special mentions to: 
Kelly (ng) for coming up to me after school to ask me if I'm okay after we got back our results (:
Rachel (wam) for texting me and telling me that results isn't everything and asking me to cheer up (:
Kelly (gan) for being there for me the whole time at Mountbatten MRT, listening to me vent and cry and giving me that encouragement that I really needed at that time. That meant a lot to me so thank you (:
The really nice Anon on ask.fm for telling me that what matters most is that I tried my best and  there's still term 3 to go so it's not the end, after reading my blog(: ps. it would be nice to know who you are :P but no matter what, thanks a lot (: *edited*

Sometimes I feel like no matter how hard I work, it never pays off cos at the end of the day, I still don't do well and I always fail to meet up to people's expectations of me and I disappoint my parents all the time. But then again, I'm just so tired of trying to meet up to people's expectations and trying to please everyone around me and making them happy cos I don't feel happy at all.

Mrs Lim called me up to talk to me during TRP cos we didn't have anything to do and she talked to me about my Bio results as well as about myself and how I'm handling everything. She told me that she thinks that I feel very stress and that I look very tense every day when she sees me, and she told me that I should find someone to talk to be it, my parents, my friends, her or the school counselor. But, what she doesn't realise is that I already realise all these problems of myself a long time ago, and at the end of the day, it's me that chooses to keep everything to myself even though I know its bad. Isn't bottling everything inside yourself better than having to burden the people around you? So I did a lot of thinking after that and I had to rush out my chinese jianbao after school, cos I totally forgot about it over the past few days. Then, me and Kelly (gan) went to have lunch together at KFC (:

Oh and OBS camp groupings are out and I don't know if I should laugh or cry. I guess it's a good thing that I have 7 out of 16 people that I know personally there but then again, I'm really dreading OBS. It's just the idea of having to go to camp that makes me dread everything. I haven't even gotten my camp stuff ready, and we have to reach school by 7am on monday which means I have to wake up at 5 freaking AM in the morning to get ready cos I live far away from the school. FML.

Anyway, I shall stop the ranting lol, till next time guys (:

I feel like I'm the world's biggest disappointment, disappointing everyone, and I feel so damn useless cos I'm doing really badly in my class where everyone else around me seems to be doing so well in every single thing. Way to make me feel pathetic guys. And I feel like I'm gonna fall apart any time now, cos I'm so tired of trying to cope, trying to seem like everything's okay, when really, all I feel is that I'm just really broken. There's way too much problems for me to cope and no one seems to really care. The one thing that passes through my mind every single day: "Why the hell am I trying so hard to please everyone and to cope? Cos I don't seem to be getting anything out of it at all." 

Sorry for this really quite depressing post guys, I just needed to get this all out. 

Nothing can ever replace you.

Hey guys(:

Lessons just started again today, one day after the CTs and I'm feeling that sense of dread already. The teachers have been telling us when we will be getting back our papers and to be honest, I don't really wanna know cos I just want to live my peace while it lasts lol. 

Anyway our first lesson was PE and we played football again. It was freaking hilarious cos there are only girls in my class today (Justin was absent) and so, it's like a bunch of girls screaming *in a high pitch manner* when they're playing. I had quite a lot of fun since I wasn't just standing there feeling bored and walking around on the field doing nothing like the other time. Then we had maths and Ms Low told us that we'll be getting back our Maths 1 paper this week ): Then after that was geog which was quite fun since we did lots of discussion today and it wasn't really that hardcore. We had E.Lit after that and I almost died cos we were getting scolded for doing shitty analysis for our CTs so I think I screwed it up ): 

We had Chinese for our last lesson and we were doing a mini discussion and this really got me thinking about quite a number of things again. Our teacher asked us something like this: "Why do you study so hard, work so hard for? What's the point of it? Have you guys given this a thought?" Here's something for you to think about (:

After school, me and Shi Kai went to Mr Lim's locker to place the chem worksheets before heading to Kampong Arang for lunch. Had taohuey and it was really good (or maybe cos we're just hungry) (: Then we headed home together. 

OBS is coming soon and I'm not really looking forward to it. Just the thought of it makes me sick cos we might be separated in different groups and even if the teacher mentioned that we'll have at least 4 classmates in our group, it still doesn't assure me nor make me feel any better cos I'm not that close to my classmates.. So maybe I can take that time to bond with them and stuff but still... Praying that I'll have my other friends from 2I in my group too (those that I'm really close too), then maybe I'll start to look forward to it. Shall pray  for a good grouping which will be out during the weekends :/

Shall end my blog post now, so till next time (:

Drowning in dreams.

HI GUYS! :) CTs ARE FINALLY OVER YAY ^_^

Maths 2 was quite tough and I lost a few marks already cos I didn't know how to do the questions. But it's okay cos I think I did quite okay for the other questions☺

After Maths 2, me, Michelle and Angel met up to go out for lunch and we wanted to watch a movie at first but we decided not to in the end. We had lunch at Pizza Hut at Nex and I had a great time with them☺The rest couldn't make it so it wasn't as fun but still. Oh and Angel was being exceptionally quiet today so it was mostly just me and Michelle talking while she (as she says) listens haha. I really miss 2I so much and I'm really looking forward to the class gathering cum farewell party for a certain teacher (I shall leave un-named cos it's supposed to be a surprise party) that we're gonna have in Week 9/10☺Hopefully, we'll also organise a class outing for the June holidays☺

Okay, this is a really really short post cos there isn't much to blog about today so till next time! :D

"Breathe. You’re going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass."

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

Hi guys(: (I don't know why I like to address every one when I blog but whatever haha)

Yesterday was one of the worst day ever. Had both Bio and Geog CTs and both of these subjects need so much memorizing I almost died. I think I just completely flunk Bio since I blanked out completely when I wasn't even halfway through the paper, so I forgot every single thing that I so painstakingly memorized and I crapped everything out while others were doing the paper at ease. Geog was horrible too cos the teachers lied to us wtf. They told us that there was only going to be 2 DRQs, but there turned out to be 3, and there was Essay too so I couldn't finish the paper and I already lost 6 marks. But on the bright side, I managed to write out what I memorized for the Essay so yay☺ Oh and have I mentioned that I got bamboo as my invigilator?! It was terrible, I swear. And I had to see him in front of me for 1 and a half hours. How in the world am I not blind yet LOL.

I had Chem CTs today and I thought it was quite okay since I managed to remember my stuff though the paper was quite tough, and I didn't manage to finish the paper cos I had poor time management. I threw away 5 marks already so I'm just praying that most of my other answers will be correct to at least do well for this so that I can make up for the amount of marks I threw away in both Bio and Geog. I could totally feel the release in stress and tiredness after the entire Chem paper since there's only gonna be one paper left ^_^ After Chem, me and Kelly (gan) went for late breakfast/lunch at Macs and we met Nat, Hazel and Jolyn on the way. They were all so funny and I had a really great time with them☺ Oh and about half of 3D was at Macs so they wanted to take a "Class" photo and I felt that it was really awkward cos I'm not all that close to everyone there and I think I made them feel like I didn't wanna be there cos I kind of gave them the I don't wanna take a photo look. But it honestly wasn't that I didn't wanna be there, I just felt really awkward and had the kind of "I don't think I belong here" kind of feeling so I'm sorry if I made you guys feel like I didn't wanna be there :/

Anyway, 7 papers down and 1 more (Maths 2) to go on Monday! Really looking forward to CTs ending cos me, Angel, Michelle and Christie (Shi Kai and Angeline can't come cos they have CCA ): Why do people even have CCA right after CT ends-_-) and maybe Karyn, Kelly, Charlotte and Hui Yuen might be going out together for lunch & movie☺ (Though I'm really not looking forward to getting back my results cos I think I just screwed up the entire CTs but oh well).

By the way you guys have to go listen to Still into you by Paramore. It's really nice! ☺

"I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you."

☺☺☺Tumblr☺☺☺

Falling to pieces but no one notices.

Hello guys(: So, as you can see, I finally recreated a blog (okay, I have another private blog which I update really often but nope, I'm not telling anyone the link so lets just take it like I have only one blog☺ ) and I'm gonna start blogging again though I don't think anyone's gonna read (but you never know HAHA). It's actually the CT period so its a really bad time to blog since I'm supposed to be studying and revising, not blogging but I think I'm gonna take a break from all the mugging and stuff like that.

Had 3 papers yesterday, and it's a wonder how I'm not brain dead yet. LA was kinda hard, chinese was.... well just chinese and E.Lit was the worst of all. Doing E.Lit Common Test is as bad as writing 3 essays and my hands nearly died. Not to forget, the place where I sit is so damn hot, I was sweating like crazy and felt so giddy and nauseous half the time, that I was practically lying on the table and writing. Just praying that I'll do okay since I really tried my best.

I know it's wrong of me to feel like I'm taking the wrong subject combination since I was the one who chose it but it feels like there's just so much work for me to do and I'm feeling so sick and tired of doing all of it. Like the really long school hours and heavy content subjects. Maybe I should have taken 7 subjects instead cos I think I would have been able to manage better. There's just so much stuff to do yet so little time. Ever since school started, there has been a never ending number of projects and assignments for us to complete. Time and again, my parents will ask me if I'm coping okay in school and I'll say yes, but I'm lying to them cos I don't want them to worry about me since they already have so much stuff to handle on their own, like my mum, who still has to teach my bro who's having his PSLE this year. I'm completely stressing out for CTs though I know I don't show it cos I try to show it off like I don't really bother when I really do... Anyway, enough with the rants haha. ALL THE BEST for the remaining papers in CT1 guys☺ 4 papers down for me, and 4 more to go!

I keep telling myself that everything is gonna be okay and that I'll be able to stay strong and cope well, but day by day, I'm losing grip.