2014 hasn't been the best year but it definitely hasn't been the worst. So so so many things has happened in the past 1 year. Getting transferred to 4A which is one of the main things that happened to me this year has taught me a lot of things and I feel like I've grown alot as a person this year. Going through the whole O's period was stressful and pretty tough but I've never worked harder than I did this year and it's also because of O's that I got to realise just how blessed and loved I am by the people around me, and just how lucky I am to have made so many good and wonderful friends in the past 4 years. O's has taught me that working hard matters and that it is important to have a goal in mind without any distractions, and that it is important to focus.
In the past 4 years, I've met someone who has given me strength in more ways than he could ever imagine and who has taught me to become a better person, to always be myself and not be someone I am not and to always be the better person. He has always been there for me at my lowest and is always there to pick me up and to make me feel better, giving me comfort in so so many ways, and I have never felt comfort like this. I am who I am today mainly because of what he has taught me to be. He made me really happy and still does. The memories that we've created together will always be somewhere deep in my heart. Though he may somewhat no longer be a part of my life, and though we never really got to have the closure I feel like we desperately need, and that I am still/will always be searching for, in some ways, he will always remain really important to me.
If you ever read this, I just want you to know that I am really grateful for everything that we had and were, that we have and are, and thank you. Thank you for always ALWAYS being around, and thank you for accepting all of me- my flaws and everything else. Thank you for showing me parts of you that you don't show others, and thank you for letting me do the same for you. Thank you for always trying to make me happy. Thank you for the amount of comfort we feel when we're together. Though there's a tinge of awkwardness now, it's still comforting to know that when we're around each other and when we talk, it's still somewhat like how it was and how it's always been. And it's comforting to know that that's probably one of the things that will never change between the two of us. I also just wanted to say that I am sorry for all the times I upset you, and for all the times I didn't have the courage to apologise for the things that I said and didn't mean. I've never let myself be this attached to someone till you came into my life, and maybe it's because of you that I'm scared to be this attached to someone again. And maybe there are some things between the two of us that could have gone differently, but I wouldn't change anything for the world, ever. There's so much that I would tell you, but words will never be enough for me to let you know just how grateful I am to have met you, and for everything that you've given me.
"It was like the life we'd lived before was in some alternate timeline. There was something missing in both of us and when we first met there, we found it in each other. But now, after, everything was different. We'd slipped out of that timeline, and that life was lost to us now. We weren't even a foot apart, but it felt like a thousand miles. Nevertheless, no matter what happened next, no one else would or could do what you had done for me, and what you do for me even now."
Maybe somewhere along the way, we'll find that closure. I hope we do. X.
In the past 4 years, I've learnt that it's okay to have people leaving your life because that's what life is about- people come and people go, and that's okay because the memories that they've given you and the things they've taught you and that you've learnt from them are the things that will stick with you for life. And the people that you remember them as, will remain in your heart forever. So it's okay to let go, and let live. Life goes on, and we move right along with it.
2014 is the year where I got to know alot more people be it in or out of school. 6 months ago, I joined this tuition centre rather reluctantly, just for the sake of pulling my chem grades up. 4 months ago, this asshole barged into my life and caused quite the chaos but it's because of him that tuition started being way more enriching and our class started becoming more interactive, and that's when my chem started improving significantly. And despite being an asshole most of the time, and even though sometimes I wonder why I am still friends with him cos I have never called anyone asshole more times than I have with him, he's a pretty nice and good friend too I guess. I'm rather grateful for his unexpected appearance in my life and he's taught me quite alot in the past 4 months we've known each other, though he is still a pain in the ass hmph. The tuition centre has also become a rather significant part of my life since then as well, and it's funny cos I never thought this was gonna happen. But I guess as they always say, the great or best things in life always happen at the most unexpected times huh? Cos this was or is one of the best things that has happened to me this year.
To all my really amazing friends that I made in my first 3 years in DHS, thank you for making me feel so loved and blessed, and for overwhelming me with it though it made me tear up and cry cos of how touched I was. When I started this year, I honestly thought that we wouldn't be close anymore cos I was changing streams and I thought I would be losing you guys as my friends but as everyone keeps telling me and as I know myself, I am really lucky cos not only did we not drift apart, but I feel that we've only gotten closer. Thank you for being such positive influences, for being such supportive and encouraging friends, for sticking by me all the time, and thank you for being the people I can always confide in. They say that you're lucky if you have just one great friend in this world; well then I must be more than just lucky because I don't have just one but 11 great or BEST friends in this world. I would name you guys but I'm sure you guys know who you are cos I hope that I've been constantly reminding you guys enough just how great a friend you guys have been to me. No matter what happens, be it whether I go back to DHS or even if I leave, I hope that we'll always remain as good friends and despite the distance, we will always make the effort to remain close cos that's what counts right? I love you guys all so much.
To the 2 of you that I only became close to this year, thank you for sticking by me this whole year cos without you guys, I wouldn't have made it through this year. Though you guys can be a little or really crazy sometimes, and though you guys aren't that expressive friends, the amount of care you've shown me in the past short one year has been pretty overwhelming and I am really grateful. This year wouldn't have been the same without you guys.
2014, you have taught me to be resilient, you have taught me to be strong, that I can be stronger than I think I can be. You have taught me that it's okay to let go and to move on cos that doesn't mean that we'll be forgetting about the things that we had, but simply putting and keeping them in a place in our hearts where it'll forever be remembered, and moving on for more things to come. You taught me the importance of being alone sometimes, and giving myself some alone time cos it's important to do some self reflection from time to time. 2014, you have made me realised how blessed and lucky and how LOVED I am. You may not have been the easiest year nor the best, but you're definitely the year that has given me alot to learn, and the year where I learnt alot about myself so thank you.
This is to 2014 which has been one hell of a ride, and here's to a greater and better 2015, and for the many years ahead to come. X.
No comments:
Post a Comment