I guess that's another blog post for another day. //
An open letter to my friends (either within my close social circle, or not):
In life, we will all meet a bunch of sweet talkers - the ones who sugar coat their advices to you even when they KNOW you are wrong, and who try to empathise with you, even when they do not exactly agree with the way you are feeling. I am guilty as charged for the above mentioned, because it's simply easier to agree, to disagree. Why try to contradict the other party, and end up making them (and maybe even yourself) unhappy, when you can choose to make everyone happy right?
Wrong.
That, to me, is what you make to SEEM like a real friendship, but is actually a superficial one.
One day, if and when my actions no longer reflect the person I could potentially be, and if and when my actions make you question if I am still the person you used to know, do not let me be. I want a friendship that is straight up honest, one where you're able to tell me right off the bat how you feel. I want a friendship where both parties are able to express themselves truly and freely. Do not be afraid to share your views and opinions with me. I may get upset, but that's only a normal reaction when you get contradictory views as opposed to your own. At the end of the day, I would like you to know that I still (very much) respect your views, and I'll still accept your criticisms and varying opinions. This to me, is what would make up a true and genuine friendship.
With that said, I would also like to say this - if you're looking for a friendship where you'll only be able to accept opinions that are on par with your own, you're not looking in the right place with me. I had an encounter recently where I have been sugar coating my own opinions for way too long, because I know the other party would not be able to accept it. The truth is, while simply agreeing with the other party will make both of us happy due to the lack of conflicts (the most ideal situation), I have grown tired of that friendship (which has shown me that we're both people with increasingly different frequencies).
//
To be honest, I have no idea where this blog post is going (as usual) because my thoughts are always all over the place, but these are just a few random thoughts that I wanted to put out here.
I feel like as people grow up, people either grow closer together, or they grow further apart. We could have been really really close friends, who could once talk to each other about anything and everything under the light, but that could very much change over time as well. I guess growth causes people to develop different wavelengths of either very similar or very different frequencies.
I am about to enter a really new phase of life, with only 10 days left before university starts officially, and I am feeling so many things all at once - mostly excitement and fear. This fear arises not just from the fact that I'll be in a completely new environment, with new people (which means that I'll have to step out of my comfort zone again, and stop being such a turtle, and try to make new friends), but also from the fact that I may very well end up losing some of my very dear friends due to the distance (both physically and mentally). If you know me well enough, you'd know that one of my greatest fears is losing the people dear to me. Loss is not foreign to me, and neither is the underlying hurt.
This path that I am about to go forth in, is one I never expected myself to take. When I was younger, I always aspired entering NUS FASS, and then going on to take the psychology course. That was (and is) my dream, but life took a turn and I ended up in the NUS Nursing course, a course I never ever thought I'd enter. I had never seen myself as a nurse, and up till today, I am still (honestly) very unsure if I had chosen the right path. Everytime I tell somebody that I am in the nursing course, they all ask me the same question - "Why nursing?" This question seems like such a simple one, but no exact answer comes to my mind. Often enough, I ask myself the very same question. "Why nursing?" It is not an easy course to study, and it is not an easy job to handle. It is a job that is demanding and challenging, but it is also rewarding and fulfilling. I do not have an answer for that question yet, but I hope that as I go through this course, I'll be able to find an answer true to myself. Whilst I never saw myself to be in this course, much less a nurse, and while I am still full of uncertainties for the future that is to come, I also believe that everything happens for a reason. As such, while I know that I'll face many obstacles in the years to come, I hope to eventually learn to see every obstacle as a stepping stone in life for me to grow into a better and more mature individual. I have faith that God will be there with me every step of the way, and I believe that with this faith, I'll be able to gather enough strength to get through the really bad and tough days that are yet to come, and help me make the best out of my upcoming journey.
With this, I shall end off my lengthy (unusually planned or rather, unplanned) blogpost.
Till next time X.
