Eyes

Warm, brown and round

were your eyes that stared

into me, as you dared

me to love you.

Deep, dark and striking

were your eyes as you held

on to my face - your breath heavy and lingering ;

my mind running

Your gaze - affixed on me

Empty, hollow and broke

were my eyes

when your heart turned to ice

and you became cold.

You had left me

hanging with a broken soul

as I gave you my all -

whilst you left me in sorrow.

Digging and tugging

were the mindless hands in my mind,

that frantically struggled to burrow

all thoughts of you in a d

                          e

                            e

                              p

                                           

                                dark hole.

Glossy, glistening

hardening

were my eyes as I searched for you -

in every crowd of faces I saw,

in every voice I hear.

As every memory of you fades away,

my heart gives way,

and the only thing that stays,

are those

pure, puppy, innocent eyes

that grasped me tight,

when you first said hi.

Your eyes - they sparkled so bright,

yet a darkness hides.

--

The day you said hi to me, our eyes met for the very first time. Your gaze affixed on me, as every single cell in my body erupted into butterflies. Every warning in my head blared at me. You're a dangerous human being, but your gaze, so soft yet so deep - it was alluring. With each passing day, our love burned bright, till that fateful day. As the blinds came up, and the lights shone through every dark intention of yours, I should have known that a human, so terribly beautiful, is too good to be true.

Your heart and you being broken are not mutually exclusive

The sound of my heart pounding
Is resounding

The ache in my chest is dull

My heart - no longer full

All the sleepless nights
Leave me in fright
As I grip my chest - tight.

Tears flow down my face

Heart agape

Chest open ;

Heart broken

My whole world is torn -

Deeply forlorn

//

An open letter to myself (and to anyone else who needs this) ; I hope this makes you feel better even if it's just minutely so --

We all have those nights where we feel so broken and lonely. Deep down, we know that there're some/ few people who genuinely care for us, but somewhere in the darkness, we tend to forget as darkness consumes us. We hear nothing, and we see nothing.

Here's to all the nights we cry ourselves to sleep, thinking we'd wake up feeling a little more whole, or a little less broken. Here's to all the nights we don't. And here's to everyone out there who feels like the pain in your heart might just kill you. It won't.

I know some nights, we all tend to think that the whole world has turned its back on us, and that everyone potentially hates us. Here's a reminder that those are just your demons playing tricks with your mind. You are worth so much more - even when you think you are worth nothing.

Yes, your heart and you being broken are not mutually exclusive. When your heart gets broken, so do you. But let's not all forget that when your heart is full (of happiness), so are you.

Forget about the ones who forgot about you, and remember the ones who chose to stay, even when there were so many times they could have chosen to leave. Also, do not forget to constantly be kind and generous to yourself. Self love is the most important love in the whole world because nobody can love you, like you.

To the thoughts that constantly come back to haunt me, and to the nights that I constantly lose sleep to - please be kind to my aching soul and my broken heart. Please be kind to my chaotic and anxious mind. Please drown away my mindless thoughts - of sadness, anger, hatred, resentment, and loneliness. Please dry away my tears.

I honestly just wanna feel whole again.

X.